Curry County, Oregon

Another Richter Scale(tm) column by Jake Richter
May 14, 1996


Curry County, Oregon

It's a shame that my first Richter Scale column about Places has to be about a place that evokes negative images for me (and perhaps some of you). If you want happy columns about places, check out the upcoming articles I'm working on about Bonaire and Cozumel, among other places.

Back to the topic at hand, on an exploratory trip through the coastal regions of the great American Northwest with my family in April 1996, I had the misfortune of needing to pass through Curry County, Oregon.

["Welcome to Oregon" Sign]For those not familiar with Oregon county lines, Curry County is the first county you enter if you're driving along the coast up from California on your way north, as I happened to be. The only way to avoid Curry County is by taking U.S. Interstate 5, but that, of course, means you're no longer traveling along the coast, which, upon reflection, may have been a better choice for me. On the other hand, Curry County opened my eyes.

For, you see, in Curry County I discovered what it was like to be discriminated against. Coming from a non-denominational 6' 3" blonde male of Germanic and Slavic descent that may sound rather odd. Even worse, the discrimination emanated from a authoritarian public servant who really should know better. I speak of none other than a member of the Curry County Sheriff's Department.

The discrimination I faced was a result of having long hair (middle of the back length) for a male, a beard, and California license plates on my rented mini-van. In other words, the discrimination was based on appearance and perceived origin.

In a nutshell, I was pulled over by said Sheriff's Deputy shortly after having crossed the California/Oregon border on my way north. The officer proceeded to berate California and Californian drivers as ignorant and annoying, only mildly calming down when I presented him with evidence that I was from New Hampshire. However, it appeared I was still guilty of having chosen to drive up from California, in a California vehicle. The net result was a ticket based on one real but naive traffic violation and three fabricated ones, as best as I can tell. If you want to read about the actual experience in detail, and see my reasoning behind the claim I was discriminated against, check out the letter I sent in to the Curry County District Court.

While I would be foolish to say I truly understand how it really feels to be a victim of racial discrimination, my brush with discriminatory practices was more than enough to generate a whole series of negative emotions, including anger, sadness, despondency, and resignation. Fortunately, once I understood why the implied charges were fabricated, I was better able to deal with the situation, the result of which is this Richter Scale column.

Some Solutions...

I figure there are a number of ways to deal with places like Curry County. Places where, in the words of a Coos County (the county abutting Curry to the north) resident: "rednecks breed true and people are related to themselves". With an apology to the non-Redneck residents of Curry County, here's a list of ideas to help bring such havens of bigotry into the modern age:

  1. Avoid them at all costs and hope that inbreeding ultimately causes them to become sterile.
  2. Plan to have lots of software development and related geeky conferences in such places and totally overwhelm the local population and "law" enforcement with long haired types with California license plates.
  3. Make the area the new destination for Spring Break.
  4. Arrange for Jeff Foxworthy ("You know you're a redneck if...") to perform his comedy routines in these locales frequently, and hope it finally sinks in that he's making fun of the residents for good reason, and that they need to change their ways to avoid being the butt of his jokes.
  5. Start a "Redneck Sensitivity" campaign to collect funds to pay for the sensitivity training commonly required of people who lack such sensitivity.
  6. Distribute bumper stickers that read "Have you hugged your local Redneck today?"
  7. Make sure people are forewarned that they are entering "Redneck Territory" by placing warning signs at entrances to all such communities, along with an explicit list of rules of what's just not acceptable to such small minded folk. The bottom of the sign should read, "If you don't want to compromise your conscience, turn back now."

In closing, I should say that on the Richter Scale, for a place with such a tasty and ethnic name, Curry County rates a measly 1.5 out of 10.0. Maybe that'll change if the court agrees with my summation in the letter I sent them with my ticket and bail. I'll keep you posted.

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